That's one of my favorite phrases... "it's a lie." You'll have to ask Shaun, Malcolm, or Gary to tell you the full story on that one. But anyways, to my point... there are a lot of lies that we are told by American culture, the media, other people, etc. that we buy into without ever really questioning them.
For today, I'm just going to tackle the notion that we have of the romantic relationship. Sorry ladies, but I think I'll pick on you today. Now, my disclaimer is this- I know a similar situation exits on the other side of things, but it's easier for me to see it from this perspective, since I am myself a guy. Ladies, feel free to comment on this and give me the other side of the coin.
If you watch any romantic comedy, you see the same picture of the ideal man. He's exciting, charming and good at sweeping women off their feet, yet often unreliable and rarely exhibits true character and integrity. The message seems to be that as long as this excitement is there, then the relationship will work out well and you don't need to worry about things like character. If this is the case, then why does our divorce rate keep growing each year? Why do so many women find themselves married to men with no true character who are really still insecure boys?
My assertion is this: many women (even intelligent ones) seem to be lured by these qualities and on some level buy into the message that this is what is important to look for in a spouse. When they find a guy like this, they are willing to look past more serious things like character and integrity. So, of course, this leads to bad relationships and women ending up with bozos (thanks to Becca for that term).
This has often bothered me to see these bozos dating seemingly normal, well-adjusted women, while I continue in my single world. Not that I don't enjoy being single... it's a pretty good life for right now. What I've come to realize though, is that I value maintaing my character above dating someone. I treasure Christ above all else and want to please Him more than I want to be dating someone. So, even if I could be more of a ladies' man by compromising in some areas, I choose not to, simply because it isn't worth it to me.
It's more important to me to be able to go to bed knowing I've acted with character and integrity than to gain anything... riches, stuff, fame, even women. As Soloman says, " The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out."
Thanks for reading... until next time,
JRO
3 comments:
Good entry - a lot of this comes from age and maturity (or lack thereof). I'd like to think that women who have dated one of these "exciting" guys just because it's...well...exciting will tell you that the benefits didn't outweigh the heartache that followed. The excitment is appealing at first, but when the relationship fails, you realize what you really want in a mate (or at least that's how it's SUPPOSED to work...wink)
I must have found an interesting topic to get 2 comments within a couple of hours. So, here are my thoughts in resopnse to the comments:
I certainly do think that maturity (and spiritual growth in the case of a Christian) should cause someone to move beyond this and realize how stupid it is. However, I have seen people who should certainly know better fall into this trap. I think that is probably an indication of some type of character issue or something along those lines, like a girl who is drawn to guys she wants to "fix." But, hopefully, growth should allow someone to see the error in this.
Yes, it certainly does go the other way as well. I dare say that for guys, it's normally good looks that cause us (not including me in this, but using that term broadly and generically) to look past character issues and end up with a bimbo. However, for some odd reason, it just seems like more women do this than men. If you go to any church, you see a lot more women with bozos than men with bimbos it seems. I don't have any brilliant explanation; I wonder why that might be.
Good topic...I think it's also interesting that women, even Christian women, allow for imperfections in men that they don't allow for in members of their own sex. It's one of society's great double standards. I also find it interesting though that you and so many Christian men want a proverbs 31 woman. Yes I strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman, but I find that most men say they want that and that the inside matters more, when in actions they say the opposite. They want a godly woman yes, but they still want the beautiful size 4 perky model. Another double standard...I'm really not bitter today haha but boy does it sound that way...oh well. God speed on the blogging Mr. Orr.
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