The Bible tells us that discipline is for our good, even though it seems to never be a very pleasant or enjoyable experience. Well, it seems as if God has been trying to show me one of those lessons you really don't want to learn: that I've been holding onto some pride and letting that come out in some words and actions lately.
Earlier in life I seemed to have problems with self-confidence and in some ways tried to cover that up by taking pride in things I did do well or had going for me, like money, success in school, etc. It seems as if some of these prideful attitudes have been creeping back up. God has blessed me so richly with the opportunity to read and be taught by some godly people with a great perspective on the Word. More importantly, He has taught me so much in my own study in the last few years. But, I've started to notice that Satan has been trying to get me to become "spiritually prideful." It seems as if sometimes when discussing theology, I end up being motivated by wanting to be right or show others how smart and spiritual I am. What a screwed-up attitude! I know that others who have been walking with God a lot longer have reached different conclusions; I shouldn't be trying to prove them wrong, but rather seeking to discover the truth together and speak the truth in love.
Now, I think there are certainly times where we need to agree to disagree on certain issues. However, I do think it's important that we all study the Word and reach our own convictions about theology- God will hold us responsible for what we believe, so theology does matter!
A bit more humbly yours tonight,
-JRO
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2 comments:
I'm glad that you are aware of this Mr. Orr. It is a hard lesson to learn and it is hard to admit in ourselves. I walk a fine line myself, because I have been a Christian so long and I'm not really mean...the vices I have aren't those that are visible or hurt others. But all the same I have plenty to work on in my own life (!!!) so I have to walk the fine line of humility and not too much humility and knowing my strengths without being too proud of them. It is very hard also when people look up to you as a teacher to remain humble. I'm glad that the spirit has made you aware of this in yourself and I hope He will continue to mold you into the man He wants you to be!
I find they same problems in my own life. I've been a Christian all my life and often (wrongfully) find myself looking at those much younger in the faith them I am and looking down at them when they begin to argue theology or Christian values and morals. I know God have us the Bible to draw our own conclusions, our own views from. We are all aware that it is what makes us so special as humans, to draw different views from the same text brings understanding, brings well rounded opinions and most importantly, adds and added dimension of view which often enhances our own outlook.
I often find myself having to bite my tongue when arguing theology because I have read so deeply into certain issues and ascertained my own opinions that I pridefully believe that I must convince others that my conclusion is the only right conclusion. This is most definitely not a Christlike attitude and pride in oneself is much different then being outright self indulgent on our own knowledge. I'm glad that God has given you the opportunity to stand back and look at the situation and shown you the areas that must be worked on. I too have had God snap me into place, sadly, more than once, but it is such a joy to know and understand that He does this because He loves me so much and has better intentions for my life. He wants me to understand that my job is to spread His Word and live His love and that, while I enjoy theology and learning, that my calling is higher than others seeing me as a great woman of knowledge. Its all part of the wondrous purpose He has for us, just one more way that He is building you and I into the women and men that God so desires us to be.
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