In case you don't read Sam's blog, he had a couple of posts within the last week or so dealing with honesty. Through some stuff God's been teaching me, I've been reading and experiencing, I thought I might add some of my own thoughts on another angle of honesty.
Within the culture of the American church, it seems as if we are encouraged to avoid confrontation at all costs. After all, it could offend someone, or show that we aren't abiding by the cultural norms we're expected to follow. To prove this point, think about how many instances of church discipline you can think of. Or, how many times when someone has sinned against you have you chosen to ignore it as opposed to pointing it out to them and lovingly correcting them? If you're anything like me, you're probably more likely to not deal with it and instead just turn the other cheek (not out of a desire for holiness, but to avoid conflict). Or, how often do we genuinely rebuke fellow believers?
I think the teachings of Scripture and people in Scripture look quite a bit different than what we expect "proper Christians" to look like nowadays. Jesus called people sons of the devil, He had no problem calling people out. Paul confronted Peter to his face and made a comment to the effect of wishing the Judaizers would castrate themselves. This seems to be a far cry from how we collectively act and deal with sin and conflict these days. These guys weren't afraid of confrontation and did what was necessary. I don't think they went around looking for conflicts, but they were honest in pointing out others' sins to them in a way that looked out for their best interest.
I think the right way is to confront someone and deal with an issue, not to ignore it and harbor negative feelings or to gossip behind their backs (with the excuse of it being a "prayer request"). This isn't easy; I certainly struggle to do this, but when I have dealt with people in this way, the result seems to be for the best. But regardless of how it turns out, I know that I am honestly and lovingly pointing out what the issue is. If I did something to offend someone else, I would certainly rather them point that out to me than to hold a grudge against me or to gossip about it behind my back. I think this would go a long way in maintaining unity among the Body and living at peace with others.
"...Encourage and rebuke with all authority..." (Titus 2:15)
-JRO
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3 comments:
This is a fine line. If you walk around pointing out everyone's sins, you end with up a "holier than thou" reputation. People see you as that person who points out the splinter in everyone else's eye but won't take out the log in his/her own eye.
I think Jesus calling people out is a little different than Jennifer calling people out. He was holy and blameless and, most importantly, in a position of judgment. We are not.
That being said, I agree that some Christians exhibit sin and behavior patterns that threaten their witness and ministry. And more often than not, 1. they don't realize it and 2. nobody will tell them. I guess the key is in how you go about confronting such a person, and how often you do it. Deal with things that are having a consistent, negative impact on their Christian walk. But choose your battles; otherwise people will become defensive and your purpose likely won't get accomplished.
It is a very fine line and the Bible is clear that are to first get the plank out of our own eyes before we point it out to others. However, it also does command us that we are to be truthful with others about their sins; sometimes we need others to help point that out to us.
Jesus was different, but Paul, Nathan, John, James, etc. were all fallen humans made righteous by Christ who also called others out for their sin.
The key is to do it in a loving and humble way. Make it clear that you're not looking down at them or think you're better than them, but are doing this for their own good. I know for me, a lot of the time I can see someone else's sin because I have done the same thing myself in the past and hope to spare them some of that pain. I have found it helpful in relationships with others that in addition to calling them out on ocassion, I also confess some of my screw-ups to them so that they see that I'm not perfect either. I also try to remind those people closest to me that I welcome being called out when I sin or do something hurtful to them; I think if you make it clear that you're open to receiving this, then others will be more receptive when you come to them in this way.
By the way, is anyone reading my blog lately??
Yeah, I'm reading...just being lazy about posting ;) Keep 'em coming and something will spark my interest.
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