Since it seems a good portion of my blogging audience is of the opposite sex, I thought I'd pose a question to you. Guys, perhaps this may help us in moving one step closer to understanding the complex infrastructure of the female mind (Relient K lyric); incidentally that's probably doubtful as I think it's a lost cause.
So, here's the deal: I was having lunch with my sister today and in the last 2 days, she's had two random guys just come up out of the blue and ask her out (FYI, she had surgery on her wrist so she isn't able to wear her engagement ring). So, have/would any of you go out with some random guy you didn't know who just came up and asked you out like that?
I have never done that and I don't think that I ever would. It doesn't fit my personality, plus it would seem kind of odd and high-pressure to have to go out with someone you didn't know at all. For all I know, if I did that, I'd end up on a date with a crazy horse girl... bad idea.
So I'm curious to get some female insight into this; what do you think?
-JRO
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12 comments:
Oh my...why do guys always have to make some comment about the fact that they will never know the "oddities" of the female sex? I guess when guys make comments like that, it makes some of us girls feel insecure like we are weird and not pleasant to be around. For one thing, not all girls are the same. I'd love for every guy to realize that and embrace it.
Now to the actual question you posed: No, I personally would not go on some random date. I have my own feelings and views on dating and hanging out with some random person does not qualify. Some girls might be okay with it, though...and I say, that's their own opinion. They know their hearts. But I have not personally been asked on a random date, nor do I think I ever will be. Anyways, there is some insight into the crazy world of girls...or at least this one.
No I wouldn't, but I like Maggie's first paragraph. Well said! On the other hand, in terms of the "complex structure of the female mind," I'm sort of obligated to give you a "free pass" on this one, aren't I? :)
So, have/would any of you go out with some random guy you didn't know who just came up and asked you out like that?
I have never done that and I don't think that I ever would.
so we've established that you're not gay. awesome.
Oh Jamie how wonderful you are to think that we are all as beautiful as your sister. Um no I've definitely not had a random person ask me out and no I definitely would not go. If someone random comes up and asks me out without any other knowledge then they are only interested in the way I look (hence never being asked out in this manner hehe). I'm not interested in someone who is not interested in my brain, my spirit, my heart as well as my looks.
This has nothing to do with your blog entry and instead relates to Maggie's comment:
Yes, all girls are different. That's what makes it so hard. In fact, most girls seem to be different from themselves depending on what day you talk to them. I know some of that is hormonal and that's fine. I can handle it. The problem comes in with the fact that so many women make decisions based on feelings rather than using logic. Feelings change, so their decisions do as well. As you can imagine, it's confusing for guys since we generally make a decision based more on logic and then stick with it. I'm not saying that our way is right and your way is wrong. It's no better to make decisions based solely on fact with no regard for emotion than it is to be choose solely on a gut feeling. But you can see how it could be confusing and frustrating. I try not to make broad generalizations about people groups becuase they're usually wrong. Women are generally more emotional than men thougha nd more prone to make decisions based on feeling rather than logic. That's the major difference to me. And that's why guys (and even other girls) so often can't make heads or tails of a girl's thought process. Because a lot of times it's not really based on outside factors and reasoning at all. It's based on inner feelings and thoughts and desires and those are much harder to read and often don't make a lot of sense.
The line about the complex infrastructure was a joke... women certainly do think differently than men and I think we both find it a challenge to understand how the other is thinking.
Guess God just made us differently like that for whatever reason. Oh well, some confusion beats being gay.
I'm with Elizabeth, If a random guy comes up and asks me out, he's in it for looks, I would be more comfortable and more willing to communicate freely and enjoy myself if I knew something about the man. It would be infinitely awkward to just go on the fly with someone I didn't know anything about. Plus, its really kind of creepy that someone doesn't want to get to know you pre-first date.
It is quite flattering though! Its always nice to see or hear evidence that we're desired!
As for the equation that girls are evil last night and the blatantly sarcastic comment about the infrastructure of women's minds, we're complex creatures that, if absent from the male world, would be sorely missed. we add color and make things interesting! life would be less beautiful without us, so don't be so quick to mock :-P
Samuel....Girls are not the only ones that are different. Guys are different, as well. And of course there is nothing wrong with that. I have come to learn this as I've become good friends with guys over the years. The fact that you have to make a comment about hormones makes me weary...I really don't like when guys and especially girls use that hormonal crutch to explain our differences. It's just another shameful scapegoat. Yes, girls have hormones but my goodness, I have met some very "moody" guys. I am a firm believer in the mind being the body's best medicine/therapy (besides God, of course). By this I mean that the more a person feels like they can overcome a certain emotion, sickness, attitude, or whatever, they will do just that more so than if they have a negative attitude. So, I feel like girls get trapped in the idea that they are "emotional" all the time and can't handle their emotions. Yes, we have emotions, and express them more freely than guys, but they aren't uncontrollable and they shouldn't be that complicated.
And your comment that girls cannot read other girls...I have no problem reading other girls. The fact that we are so vocal makes me feel like we are very transparent. I find it very easy to read other girls and how they feel about things.
By the way, Jamie, we should address the whole issue on decision making with the regards to emotions, feelings, logic, reason, and whatever else Sam mentioned and discuss what the bible says on that. What is the best way to make a decision...what is the best mix of all of those?
Sam....Thanks for a great debate. No hard feelings....Maggers
Whoa now. I think you guys (gals?) misunderstood the hormones part. I would never ever acuse a girl of making decisions based on her hormones or say that's why she's doing the things she's doing. But, I've had girls tell me that that's why they were behaving a certain way. Hopefully, it shouldn't be tied to any sort of decision making, but the menstrual cycle does affect moods and behavior sometimes. Maybe some girls do use it as an excuse and I agree that that's pretty crappy of them. On the other hand, I think it's also true that some girls are more affected by it than others. As a guy, I really have no way of telling the difference between a girl who's honestly trying her best to overcome her hormones and one who's using it as an excuse, so I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. That's all I was saying, that girls are different than guys in that respect and as men we need to recognize it and cut them some slack sometimes.
As far as your abilities to divine the thoughts of other women go, I've never seen them in action, so I guess I can't doubt. On many, many occasions, however, I've gone to other women hoping they might have a clue as to what some seemingly crazy girl was thinking and they had no idea. Most of the time, they were only able to make an educated guess just like me. On the other hand, girls have come to me on occasion wondering what a guy was thinking and I also had no clue. You're right that girls are not all the same. I've said that for years, actually, that guys think there's some magical key to understanding all girls when the truth is that we never will because they're all different. They're all individuals. And the same can definitely be said for men. I didn't mean to make it sound like men are all calm, level-headed rational beings and women are all crazy hormonal psychopaths. But there's no denying that men and women think differently, communicate differently, and often make decisions differently.
Yes, Ms. McNeely, Maggie and I both used the word "different" a few times. If you'll read back over mine though, I said that men and women were different and that women were different from each other. At no time did I use the word as a description of women. Quit trying to be clever. Ya'll is just wack. Wiggity and the regular type.
Yikes, this seems to be getting fierce. Sorry, Andrea, I suppose I don't have a huge vocabulary. Guess I chose the wrong word. I'll chose a "different" one next time ;)
i would be hesitant about a random date seeker, unless of course this was his approach:
handsome young man: hi there. do you have any raisins?
me: no, as a matter of fact, i don't.
handsome young man: well then, how about a date?
Wow, who knew that some creeps at the gym could stir up such an intense conversation? Basically my view on this subject is that if a random guy (who doesn't know me) asks me out on a date, then basically what he is saying is that he wants to go on a date because he likes the way I look. He knows NOTHING about my beliefs, personality, or even if I am a convicted felon (which I'm not, by the way). But my point is that if a guy randomly asks a girl out, he is basing it on nothing more than looks, which is very superficial and probably not the kind of person I would want to date. Not to mention the fact that HE could be a convicted felon! So guys, please get to know a girl before you ask her out. And ladies, please stay away from any man who casually mentions that he's a "young millionaire" and a "movie producer", as I have been told by one of my random stalkers. Cool.
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